


David Rosé

by bigficenergy



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Drunk David, Fluff and Humor, Light Spoilers for 6.07, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigficenergy/pseuds/bigficenergy
Summary: David's designated grape takes him home.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 19
Kudos: 296





	David Rosé

**Author's Note:**

> This has been done since the episode aired, but I refused to post them out of order, so I had to wait until I finished [the Wingman coda](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996021).
> 
> This was mostly an excuse to write drunk David, who I love dearly.

When they get back to the motel, Patrick and Johnny guide David and Moira to their respective rooms. This interrupts a slurred, but lively conversation between David and Moira, which Patrick was understanding less and less of as they drove back from Herb Ertlinger's winery.

David doesn't seem too concerned about losing his conversation partner, and lets Patrick move him to sit on the bed. Patrick then goes to the mini fridge, grabs a bottle of water, and brings it back to David.

"Alright, can you drink some of this?" Patrick asks, uncapping the bottle and handing it to David. David takes one sip and sighs heavily.

"I'm sorry I left you alone today," he says. "I said we would watch the baseball together and I should have stayed."

"Aw, that's okay, David. Besides, I wasn't alone. Your dad joined me."

David makes a face. "Oh god, did he make it weird?"

"No no. We actually had a very nice conversation."

"What on earth about?"

Patrick just smiles. "Can you drink some more of that water for me?"

Easily distracted, David closes his eyes and takes another sip. He swallows and grins at Patrick.

"Anything else I can do for you?"

Patrick reads the suggestion in his voice, but doesn't encourage him.

"Yeah, you could eat something," he says. "There's some pizza left. Want a slice to help soak up all that wine?"

David pouts, and Patrick just barely grabs the open water bottle from him before he tips back to lay on the bed.

"Can you feed it to me? I'm so tired from all the creative collaboration with my mom and Berf Hurtlinger. Hurf… Erflinger?"

"Okay, I think feeding you pizza in your bed in this state is asking for trouble, so how about you start with the water, and then when you're a little more sober we'll move on to food."

Patrick puts the cap back on the bottle and goes to set it on the nightstand, then finds himself being tugged down to the bed. He lands awkwardly, sitting sideways beside David, his hands braced on the bed on either side of David's shoulders.

"You know what I _really_ want?" David asks, running his hands up and down Patrick's arms.

"I have a hunch," Patrick says. "But even if you weren't wasted on every flavor of wine in existence, your parents are right next door, and I literally just told your dad I'd do everything I could to respect you."

"You do respect me," David says, slurred but insistent. He grins again, not bothering to try to hide it. "You respect me a lot. You respect me deeply and thoroughly until I'm full of your respect."

"Wow," Patrick huffs. "Can't wait to hear what sober you thinks of that quote."

"Well he’s unfortunately on his way, so-"

David's phone buzzes, cutting him off. Patrick helps him wrestle it out of his pocket, rolling his eyes fondly when David winks goofily at Patrick for putting his hands on him. They get his phone out, and David reads his texts, gasping in delight.

"Stevie says Alexis tried to get them to join _a cult_!"

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ❤️
> 
> Come over and say hi on [Tumblr](https://fraudulentzodiac.tumblr.com/).


End file.
